Q: I just got through with my first bottle of a new supplement by Ultimate Medical Research called Power N Speed™, a new, bio-available nitrogen compound! My training partner, a med-tech who just got back from Iraq, said if you can “bottle pure nitrogen” you’ll never, ever, need to take a steroid again! And there’s nothing any athletic federation can do to ban it! I sure hope they can’t because this stuff is unbelievable, I’ve gained 6 pounds of really lean muscle in just 3 weeks. Can you tell me anymore about this new nitrogen compound?

A: Yes I can! Bio-Available Nitrogen (BAN) is a very very hot ticket amongst hardcore guys who know that pure nitrogen is truly the “bomb”, literally the nitrogen bomb!

BAN is perhaps the most unique supplement on the market, with the possible exception of TridenosenH™, and here’s how it works.

There is an Asian vine called Kudzu that has the amazing ability to “hold” atmospheric nitrogen. Nitrogen being the second most abundant element behind hydrogen, is what is necessary to induce protein synthesis.

And as you most assuredly know, anabolic steroids cause nitrogen to be “retained” from the protein we eat! So you eat protein to get the nitrogen... then you take “juice” to retain more nitrogen. So you accelerate the protein synthesis process oven more!

But, what if you could just take “concentrated” nitrogen, and then take as much as necessary to greatly accelerate the protein synthesis process. Well, this is exactly why you’re getting so muscular on Power N Speed™. By combining pure nitrogen with the nitrogen you get from... let’s say, 200 mg of protein... you won’t ever need prescription steroids again, especially when you combine it with an ATP compound like TridenosenH™ or Enerselen.

Both these compounds are massive augmenters of ATP. And, since ATP is the “master chemical” that causes nitrogen retention in the first, it doesn’t take Dan Duchaine to figure out that you will absolutely go apes**t in terms of nitrogen retention when you combine these two compounds.

Now throw in some NO and a natural test booster and you’ll have so much nitrogen retention you’ll be able to do a 360 Slam Dunk with ease... even if you’ve never played basketball before!

Anyway, what a team of scientific researchers, lead by a leading endocrinologist, Dr. Nick Delgado of Newport Beach, CA were able to do is refine the “Kudzu extraction process” first used by German bio-chemists in the late 1930’s. So you see, a 100% pure anabolic agent was almost developed 70 years ago... except for when Über Dumkopft (complete idiot) Adolf Hitler invaded Poland in May of 1939 and research was halted.

Anyway, what Delgado was able to do was extract the nitrogen, but without damaging the DNA sequence like the German researchers. It’s like extracting a baby from the womb, what’s the point if it’s not alive!

Now, the extraction method Delgado used is unknown, even to me, because he simply would not tell me. Hey, and I don’t blame him. After all, he’s sitting on a “pot of gold”.

Damn, how come I didn’t figure this one out! Oh well, the fact that I can now turn guys onto another awesome anabolic that won’t jack with your nuts and liver, is a very cool thing!

And even if an “athletic federation” tries to ban BAN (bio-available nitrogen) there is no test or will there ever be one that can detect it because hey, guess what, then they’d have to ban whey protein and even eggs. Hey, let’s just ban food all together... then we would be completely natural. Screw those “athletic federations”! Those guys who make the rules all have worse genetics than me and couldn’t win a gold medal using 22 different drugs.